April 13, 2006.

How to be a chick magnet

by Lеаnnе Bеll

Thе Chаrmеr. The chick magnet. The lady killer. Whatever you call him, he's the kind of man who makes women weak-kneed and makes men shake their heads and say "how the hell does he do it?". He is wildly popular with women, and never seems to have any shortage of them in his life. You probably even know one. He's not that great looking, he's not rich, as far as you know he isn't freakishly well endowed. But every woman within a five mile radius is putty in his hands, and you can't figure out why.

His secret? He loves women.

He loves the idea of woman, he loves everything about women, and in a real sense, he loves every woman that breathes. If he could articulate it, which he probably couldn't, he is the kind of man who thinks life is worth living because of these marvelous creatures of softness and curves, of sweet smelling hair and sparkling eyes, of delicate hands and smalls of the back. He is the kind of man who thinks the closest thing to heaven he'll ever experience is sharing his bed with a woman, running his hand along her silk-smooth hip or caressing the swell of her breasts.

He loves his life, and sees sexuality and romance as a constant thread running throughout it, not as an isolated act to be indulged in with guilt and depravity. To him, an accidental touch of the hand can be erotic, a kiss on the cheek can send a shiver through him, and a night of passion can be a prelude to a great love affair. They're all part of the same thing to him, the glorious dance between men and women that makes life so sweet.

He isn't desperate: his love of women doesn't smack of a life deprived of feminine contact. On the contrary, he seems so comfortable in his admiration for women that you're certain he cherishes every woman he's been lucky enough to love. Women sense this in him; they see in him a practiced admirer who knows how to admire with a genuine heart.

But he isn't a slut. He doesn't sleep around indiscriminately and he certainly doesn't use women for temporary pleasure or try to trick them into bed. He loves women too much, is too thankful for every kiss, every touch, to ever treat such encounters casually or with disdain. Women sense this too. They don't feel like targets around him, no matter how many other women he might have graced his life. They don't feel like the next in line, or like a notch on the headboard. He makes every woman feel like an individual, like a person, like an object of the most gentle and respectful desire.

This doesn't mean he's a wimp, or a modern 'sensitive man' who cries when he makes love to Dаn Hіll music. He can be as randy as the next man, and he has a sheepish way of apologizing for it that women find charming. He lets women know how much he desires them. He lets them know that they are wanted in the worst way, but he doesn't do it crudely, or with a seediness that removes the woman's mind from her body. He makes a woman feel that he wants her, all of her, because she is who she is, body and mind.

But his greatest characteristic, the one that truly sets him apart, is that he makes every woman, younger and older, beautiful and plain, feel special. He makes every woman he talks to feel, even just for a moment, as though she is a young, attractive, romantically desirable babe. Maybe he flirts a little, maybe he smiles or winks, maybe it's just something unspoken that shines from his eyes. He makes every woman feel womanly. By doing so, he calls attention to the fact that's he's a man, which is why women swoon over him. He stirs up the masculine and the feminine and reminds women that there is a powerful chemistry between the sexes that they are right to enjoy.

He's not like other men, who only turn on the charm when a woman they find irresistibly attractive comes into view. He doesn't ignore all other women, look right past them as though they don't exist, and then light up like a Christmas tree and make a fool of himself when a 'hottie' comes into the room. Maybe he himself prefers the 'hottie' above all others, but he doesn't treat other women like they're an inferior species because they don't look like her. He makes the plain jane feel as though she is every bit as womanly as the babe is, even if he ultimately chooses the babe in the end.

This isn't deceit or showmanship. He really loves women. He really does find each one attractive in her own way. If he ends up with a truly gorgeous one, it's because of this unabashed admiration that shines through in every thing he does. And if he chooses a less-than-gorgeous woman, he'll enjoy her as much as he would a supermodel because he makes her feel as though she is one. He knows what he's doing; he's tapped the inner babe in every woman and encouraged her to be free.

The lesson from the Charmer is simple: love women. Love the things about them that make them women. Find beauty in them if it isn't immediately apparent, and appreciate it genuinely when it is. Make women feel like women and they'll be more than happy to make you glad you're a man.

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