May 12, 2005.

The purpose of female beauty

by Dwаynе Bеll

We receive a lot of emails from sincere young men, usually educated, often professional - many of them doctors and scientists - who ask us to put them in touch with the models we feature on our site.

We decline, naturally, since privacy is key when you're a nude model on the internet. The tonnage of negative attention they would get would be enough to warp any soul, let alone the huge amount of unwanted amorous proposals they would also have to deal with.

So we gently remind these guys that our models are not just pretty faces and bodacious bodies, but people, with their own lives, their own boyfirends and husbands. Chances are, if a girl is posing nude on a website like Body in Mind she is extraordinarily beautiful, and if you've noticed her beauty, so has everyone else. So has she.

We feel bad for these guys because the mistake they make is a natural one. We are all attracted to female beauty from a very early age. But unfortunately, as a culture, and as a species, we have never learned exactly what beauty is or why we want it so badly. So we find ourselves in its grip, not really knowing what else to do but move towards it, like flowers to the sun, or moths to the flame.

All we've been taught by way of guidance is that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. But this is not very useful. It is also just plain wrong. A woman can have the qualities that are perceived by people as beauty, but if no one sees her, is she still beautiful? Of course. But there is no experience of beauty. No emotion. And thus, no real beauty the way we mean it and value it.

Beauty is not in the eye of the beholder alone. It takes two to tango, or in this case, two to create the experience of beauty. It takes both the beautiful woman and her admirer. She possesses certain qualities which are real, which we behold. This is the physical part of female beauty. Then we perceive these qualities in her, which in turn remind us of certain parts of ourselves, deep, hidden, private parts. They stir our soul so to speak. This is the personal half of the beauty experience. It is individual, intensely powerful, and like the physical component, completely real.

Turns out it is this unknown half of the beauty experience, the personal part, that gives female beauty its great power over us, that engages our very being. And it's because it's so unknown that it works without us being aware of it. It is so personal, that until now, science has been unable to decipher it.

We're not aware of the cause of the feelings we have for beautiful women so we misidentify the women themselves as the cause and source of these emotions. This is why we are so easily convinced that the women we personally fine beautiful actually possess the qualities and feelings they evoke in us. It is this phenonmenon that explains why so many intelligent men become so easily enamored with a particular model - convinced that she is meant for him.

On top of that, because one half of our experience of female beauty comes from some unknown place (within us) it's also easy to attribute our attraction to beauty to a mystical, magical cause. This tendency only reinforces even more a man's belief that the woman he finds beautiful is all the things she appears to be. The almost magical nature of the source of the personal part of the beauty experience convinces men that their attraction was 'meant to be'. Fate - inexplicable, unavoidable fate.

But no one told the woman this. She is the other half of the beauty experience, her physical features, personality, posture or attitude evoke these mysterious, deep feelings in her admirers, but these deep feelings are not magical, nor do they spring from portentious revelations of fate. The truth is, these feelings come from the admirers own values. They come from all the things they've learned to care about in their lives, all the things they want, need, and dream about. So when a woman comes along who reminds them of these values, they find her beautiful. She fits their view of life, the universe and everything. To them, she seems perfect.

Yet we all know that she is not.

The reason for this common mistake is that mankind has had the causal relationship of beauty and attraction backwards. Female beauty does not inpsire feelings of attraction in us as is widely believed. Rather, if a woman represents the things we're attracted to in life - our values, we then find her beautiful. We are not attracted to beauty; we attribute beauty to the things we are attracted to. We do not like beauty; beauty is exuded from the things we like.

This is important to understand. What - and who - we find beautiful says more about us and our true values than it does it - or them.

Take for example, Annа Nіcоlе Smith. Her recent breast baring antics at ritzy Hollywood movie premiers have caught some media attention. Seemingly without cause she has more than once just pulled down her dress, laughing and dancing. Some no doubt think her mad. To them she is a slutty bimbo deperate for media attention. Certainly not 'beautiful'. However, we at Body in Mind have a different vision of the world than most and it makes us see her quite differently. Our view of the world includes the freedom for women to use and enjoy - even flaunt - their physical attributes for their own enjoyment, purpose and profit. That world is being prevented right now by a global, post 9/11 beauty backlash, which began with the condemnation of Jаnеt Jаcksоn for baring her breast on national television and continues today with a major political push for censorship and attacks on every instance of female beauty we can think of, from beauty contests to fine art. We think all women should respond by showing their boobs at the drop of a hat, in proud dedication to their womanhood, in defense of Janet and in protest of the huge woman-hating backlash they are now facing in their various societies. Entеr Annа Nіcоlе Smіth. She may not know the reasons why what she's doing matters to us, but that only makes what she's doing more heroic. To us she is an amazon warrior fighting for freedom of women and their beauty. She fits perfectly into our vision of the way the world should be, so to us she is the most beautiful woman in the world. The fact that she is the only one fighting only endears her to us more.

This is how the power of our deepest vision of ourselves, of mankind, and the world creates the experience of beauty, or doesn't create it, as the case may be.

Another confusing characteristic of the experience of beauty is that it can seem instantaneous, completely disconnected from our values. For example, a tall, thin, young lady with long tossed hair and a bulging sweater turns the street corner in front of us and her beauty hits us like a ton of bricks. The traffic in the intersection screeches to a halt as the male drivers all turn to look.

It seems instantaneous, but it is not. This woman 'fits' into the vision these men have of a perfect world. They dearly want this world to be a place where such women exist. And because she makes this value come true for them - because she represents their perfect world - they find her beautiful. Their experience of beauty is their response to her. And because it is a response, it cannot be instantaneous. It has to be caused.

It is caused when the physical part of a woman's beauty 'bounces' off their deepest personal values to create their experience of beauty.

Unfortunately we are all in the habit of attributing the entire beauty experience to the woman. This denies ourselves the benefit of the most important part of beauty, the personal part. If we dare to look closely enough, beauty, including female beauty, reveals our own deepest values, to ourselves. And our deepest values, the ones we normally aren't even aware of, are also the most important. They are the ones in which we hold our earliest and most powerful desires, our love of life, the need to be important, unique, and good, our highest vision of ourselves and our potential in life. Odd that we can forget these things. But forget we do.

There are moments in life when we remember them of course, flashes really, those rare times when the road ahead suddenly becomes clear and success seems inevitable. Something tells us - an inner voice - says go this way and not that. Damn the torpedos, full steam ahead!

This is also the way we feel when we look at a beautiful woman.

Intuition and a sense of adventure have their uses. So does female beauty. Beauty is there to remind us of our deepest values when we are not experiencing epiphanies. Beauty keeps us from forgetting our desire and need to expand and explore the greatness and glory of ourselves. It does so by allowing us moments in which we experience our highest values and loftiest vision of ourselves indirectly through a woman who fits right in with them.

This is what we call the experience of beauty.

But to fully experience it, to see its significance and gain its benefits, you have to look deeper. You have to look not just at the beautiful woman, but at yourself as well.

So before you spend too much time pursuing a beautiful woman you've seen on the internet, under the false notion that she will make you happy and whole, please take a moment to understand and remember that the ultimate purpose of female beauty is not just to attract you to women, it is not just sex, or romance, or even marriage.

It is also meant to remind you of your highest values, and to inspire you to achieve them.

The purpose of beauty, is beauty.

And besides, Lola is married. Didn't you see the ring?

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